Ever since we have been able to think, we’ve been looking towards the future. We imagine how we will look when we grow up, the sort of people we are going to become. Without even knowing it, we set these expectations for ourselves because everything seems possible. From a young age we hear time and time again, “you can do anything that you set your mind to.” Untainted by the harshness of the world, we believe it.
But as we do start to get older, those who have been facing adulthood long before us warn us to enjoy our youth. Take advantage of the freedom that we have now. Freedom? But we thought freedom came with adulthood; when we make the choices for our future. That is because we romanticize the idea of growing older, not growing up. Advantages come with age, but so do responsibility. Sadly, we don’t know until it comes.
So why the rush? What makes us want to skip ahead in time? The imaginary privilege and advantages I guess.
While we’re kids, adults seem to have it all. Throughout growing up we are told to abide by certain restrictions based on our age, such as drinking coffee or dying our hair. There is no actual law stating this, but social norms dictate how old you must be for certain practices. Then there are the benchmarks that are dictated by law for certain practices such as gambling, drinking, or driving. Unable to do this at our own free will while “under-aged” we long for a time when we are in charge of our choices.
Just like realizing Santa Clause isn’t real (spoiler alert) we grow up to realize that being an adult isn’t really all those things we hoped it’d be. It’s a hard knock life. Instead of freedom, we get restrictions, lots of it. There are tons of rules and social standards to abide by as an adult; and we are vulnerable to judgment if we dismiss these standards.
Life is very straightforward as a child. Parents and “grown-ups” are constantly telling us the difference between right and wrong. But as we grow up, things are not unidirectional. And things that you may have grown up to believe start to show another side to them. There are two sides to every opinion or fact, and we have to choose which side we stand on.
When we’re young, it’s so easy to picture ourselves exactly where we want to be. Our parents and teachers encourage us to chase these dreams because of the benefits. If we decide to be a doctor, then we get to save lives. If we decide to be an architect, we can design beautiful buildings and bridges so people can travel and live comfortably.
What they don’t tell you is how hard it is to achieve these dreams. It takes tons of work and self-sacrifice, and in the end might not work out. This is the part that adults like to leave out. What they should tell us, is that if we want to be a doctor then we need to study super hard, no holidays, you need to work shifts in the hospital while you study which makes it very difficult to maintain a work/life balance. And worst of all, you can’t save all of your patients.
These days we can’t blame ourselves for giving up so easily. We were led to believe that if we wanted something hard enough it would be ours, but we were never shown how to work for it. We were never told how much suffering comes along with chasing a dream.
When you are a kid, you feel like you are the king. You do as you please. There are no walls to your dreams. And the society will never force you and you will never take it to mind. But when you grow up, your awareness starts to expand, you want to create an image, you feel responsible and the society starts forcing you to follow them. You are so frightened, what others might think, and people scare you by giving you their own experiences with messing up. And your subconscious mind gets addicted to those stupid stuff. You feel that you should score a good grade, have a decent degree and a secure job with a high salary, get married, have kids. They just want you to live your life as if it’s a race and pretend that you’re a horse.
As you grow, you realize all of the corny anecdotes your parents tortured you with hold some truth. You’re actually very much like them. The older you get, the more you start to respect your parents and realize that they are just people doing the best that they can do.
The truth is life is too short to keep hanging the things you actually want to do. You really need to make time for what matters to you while you still can. Otherwise they’re not going to happen. Don’t keep telling yourself “when you get older.” Cause eventually you will realize that time has escaped you, and all you have left are your dreams. The more you age, the faster time seems to go. That is because your time is already consumed.
Consider you’ve “grown up” and let’s say that you sleep for 8 hours a night, work 8 hours a day. Let’s omit 3 hours for eating, commuting, and showering. Now, you are only left with 5 hours of your day. You’re not as young as you used to be, and you might not feel so energized and motivated to pursue your own interests. It’s difficult to find the time to do the things that interest you when you have a set routine. Don’t rely on a promise of the future. You need to make the time for it now!
We won’t have the freedom to be so carefree once we’ve “grown up”. We have ourselves to look after. We’ll get married, have children and their responsibilities will be prior to our needs. “Hanging out” will no longer be a priority, instead it’ll be replaced by goals and responsibilities. Our attention will be directed towards more worldly matters as displayed on the news and the media. Most people share the same opinions and interests as us, so we tend to lose interest in those people and their lives.
When it comes to growing up, no one really knows what they’re doing. We are all just trying our best. Many people appear to be really good at it, but deep down they are probably questioning themselves as well. The best we can do is ask for advice from our wiser, older friends and family. No one can really tell you what to do in any given situation, but they can only tell you what they would do. We all want something different out of life, therefore we all make different decisions to support our cause. We spend our whole lives trying to figure it out, taking chances and hoping for the best.
In the real world, you are going to get judged and not by who you are as a person, instead how you are in the eyes of the society. Are you responsible? Organized? Punctual? Articulate? You need to appear and sound like you have it all together. And the older we get, the more responsibilities and expectations get thrown at us. The best part? No one is going to help or show you the way. “You’re not a kid anymore, figure it out yourself “ hits you hard in the face.
When you call life complicated, it is because of the biases the brain tricks you into. When you were in school, life was complicated. You were struggling with homework and getting good marks. You found it difficult to make yourself sit for studying when all you wanted to do was play. When your friend bought a costly bicycle, you wished for the time when you had enough money to afford that bicycle. But now, when you look back at school days, you only remember the good times. Same story goes with college.
In the rush to grow up, we often forget what it is like to be young and wild. Life is not complicated. Life is simple if we choose to live one, but if we decide to complicate it with other unwanted things it’ll only get worse and as always leading a fruitful life becomes tough. To be the best person you can be, you need to experience as much as you can. Take those experiences, and let them shape you into being stronger, smarter, and better. Things are going to constantly blindside you, so learn to adapt. Keep your mind open, always be receptive to more knowledge. Make as many mistakes as you can while you can. Don’t let the “what’ll they think?” stop you from doing what you wanna do. You may win or you may lose. But it’s always worth trying for. Because that’s how we grow and that’s how we learn.
“The moment you stop learning is the moment you’ll stop growing”.
